Min-Maxing My TRPG Build in Another World: Volume 9 Canto I [Parts 1 to 12] by Schuld

Author:Schuld
Language: eng
Format: epub

[Tips] Chasing dreams or being chased by dreams—these two things look the same from the outside.

Not even Nanna knew the exact formulae behind the rainbow bubble-inducing smoke that she enjoyed. What she did know was that it had come to her while she was meditating, praying even—a decidedly unmagusly pastime—as she contemplated the figurative hell that resided in her mind. Her newest and proudest creation was less an invention and more a veritable divine revelation. And yet, and yet, its effects were still far removed from her ambitions.

It drew up and fulfilled every passing fancy and deep-held ideal the imbiber had ever held, casting them into a phantasmagoria tailored to their own mind; yet at the end of the day, it only sharpened the abject misery of life in the waking world for Nanna.

Its effects would have been more than satisfactory to others; a psychonaut gifted with a measure of calm could find real joy in watching the unattainable images of their past fancies play out in the distance.

“Calm” was not one of Nanna’s assets.

She had despaired at the discovery that even in the unageing body of a methuselah, one was stuck in the cloying, unshakable confines of the soul, the nervous system, and the rigid bounds of time itself.

Where could salvation be found? What could she do to ease the pain inside her head? Kierkegaard posited that truth could be found in autonomy; Sartre argued that existence preceded essence—yet if these philosophers were in her world, could they have possibly saved her?

Though she lacked the formal armature to put it in familiar terms, she knew too well the mortal terror of the condition of absolute freedom put forth in Being and Nothingness. If she could simply have embraced the touch of the void, she might not have been so stymied by the question of what “essence” was in the first place.

In all the world’s creation myths, it is said that the gods contributed Their best qualities in creating humankind. If such were the case, then what could possibly explain the gaping lacuna in her brain? She could try and talk around the black box of her consciousness—map out the negative space with analogies and hypotheticals—but at the end of the day, she was chasing a mirage in the vain hope there might be water somewhere in it. At once compelled to pursue and achingly aware of the futility of inquiry, who wouldn’t find their enthusiasm for life ebbing away?

The madwoman, burned and famished by her own dreams, watched the adventurer before her, deep in his private haze. This drug was unique among Nanna’s repertory in that it possessed none of the expected habit-forming properties, allowing her to give it a little test run with this unlikely partner.

In the past, many an adventurer had found new depths of misery in the high; their inability to square their real lives with their dearest dreams made manifest caused them agony. Many in turn sought refuge from the pain by venturing deeper, letting the drug strand them in their fantasies for hours at a time with each drag.

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